This is a promotional video for a music-making machine called Beamz™. Beamz™ looks like something out of Star Trek: The Next Generation or like something you would find in a Sharper Image store, which is a funny coincidence because that is EXACTLY where you can buy one if you are a middle aged dad with no musical talent but who maybe listens to music occasionally (like, in elevators and waiting rooms and stuff). Watch the video and realize your potential for “great” (or as the website calls it, “pre-authored”) music making.
1. It’s called Beamz. With a “z”. So, I mean, you know it’s ill – no durz.
2. Swatting the air with “girl fight” / “adorable kitten” hands ALWAYS looks cool.
3. They registered the phrase “Play the light” for when people want to steal it, which they will, because this is going to TAKE OFF.
4. It plays “every musical sound” including: “urban”, complimentary Wagner CD, and 1987 Cassio Keyboard.
5. Punch, punch, punch! and grab, grab, grab! the air for an authentically “harder rocking” sound. Just like Guns-N-Rosses or Slash or something!
6. Sunglasses inside.
7. “Be a hero” (natch).
8. Especially to your adolescent son (who won’t really understand how the Beamz™ works and, after several feeble attempts, will become angry and confused causing him to try to “punch Beamz™ in the face” (boys will be boys!), luckily Beamz™’s face is mostly laser beams and air which means every punch will only result in MORE ROCKING MUSIC!).
9. Treat her (the air and laser beams) right and she’ll play you smoothe jazz for when it’s time to “get in the mood”.
10. Aww, look at the girl trying to play Beamz™ – she thinks she’s people.
11. “More Cowbell” is a very current reference to use.
12. Magic.
January 17, 2009 at 1:49 am |
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