Guys. I got a Sundance Catalog in the mail the other day. You know what that means! Here’s Robert Redford’s heartfelt letter to his “Early Summer” issue readers:
This book squares on my favorite area of the country, the southwest. Hot chilies, margaritas, loose clothing, Latin American and raw pioneering energy blending into color and song. I had a Bultaco once. It was hot and quick. So quick I got separated from my seat while trying to forge a stream.
Enjoy the heat.
Uhm. What? What’s great about Robert Redford is that Robert Redford is apparently beyond the burden of having to make sense. His letters are the nostalgia-laden, folksy wisdom equivalent of a Ralph Wiggum monologue.
Besides being a TOTAL NON SEQUITUR, I had to look up the word “Bultaco”. I sort of assumed it was a kind of food. Like a taco. Made out of a Bull. (Shut up.) But apparently it’s a motorcycle? Not everyone knows that, Robert Redford. Especially the people buying your Lacy Lotus Earrings. OK. So. Recap. The Southwest: Latin American culture + good old-fashioned, hard-working American spirit = a kick-ass margarita party and also Robert Redford had a motorcycle once. Let’s all buy Laurel Canyon Skirts!
Rather than trying to explain the inner workings of Robert Redford’s poetic mind (no one could explain such intracacies in a short-post blog format), I have included a translated letter instead (kind of like when you “translate” Shakespeare monologues to better understand them? You know? Shakespeare nerds?). You’re welcome.
This catalog is about the southwest. There are a lot of things I like about the southwest like Latin American food and Latin American culture and also cowboys. This one time I had a motorcycle. Motorcycles are very fast. But for reals you guys, they are super fast, as exampled by the fact that once I was even lifted off of it, but only from the sheer force of heroically forging a stream, just like the pioneers did in the 1800s or whatever. I didn’t fall off it though because I’m tough like a cowboy and good at motorcycles like a man.
Summer is hot.