When I Find My 3rd Grade Class’s Book of Poetry, Everybody Wins

It’s the holidays which, for me, means spending some time in the house I grew up in. Then I get bored and go through the piles of crap on my bookshelf that should have been thrown out years ago. But then thank god I didn’t throw it out because BLOGS!

In all this crap I founds some slightly more interesting crap in the form of a book of poetry written by my 3rd grade class in the good old days of 1991 and IT IS BEAUTIFUL! No names because I wouldn’t want to embarrass anyone I went to 3rd grade with who MIGHT BE READING THIS BLOG and I haven’t asked them if I could post it on THE INTERNET because I don’t know where most of them are and also that would be a lot of work for me, but GOOD HOT DAMN they should want the credit because these poems could have been written by Rumi.

It appears that we were given topics such as “yourself”, “happiness”, “craziness”, etc and then told to describe that thing in verse. Below are a couple of my favorites along with a few choice excerpts. Enjoy!

CRAZINESS

Craziness feels wild.

Craziness is hot pink.

Craziness tastes crazy.

Craziness smiles cool.

Craziness sounds like rock ‘n roll!!!!!!!!

Craziness looks like madness.

Craziness is something wild.

When I get crazy I jump on the couch,

Then I climb up the wall,

Then I climb down the wall,

Then I jump on the couch,

And I do a flip!!!

That boy turns into SPIDERMAN when he feels crazy!!!!! I wish I had known that at the time.

The following poem is the only poem in the book that breaks the “happiness”, “myself”, crazyiness” theme and DARES TO TACKLE THE DIFFICULT SUBJECTS. Cakes.

CAKES

Cake smells like toothpaste.

Cake feels smooshy.

Cake tastes creamy.

Cake falling sounds like a bicycle when it has a flat tire.

Splat!

Cake smells like toothpaste? I don’t think this child has ever had cake. Poor child. OR he brushes his teeth with frosting!!! In which case, LUCKY BASTARD.

Here is one of my favorite excerpts from the end of a self-reflective poem from a boy who (a) truly understands the use of a good adjective and (b) learned to talk by watching Bill and Ted movies on a loop:

I hate those bogus, heinous Milly-Vanilly dudes.

One bogus thing is we live in an u/p apartment.

One rad thing is that I can draw awesomely.

And finally, one of the best metaphors I’ve ever read in my long and storied history of reading metaphors. From a poem entitled “Anger”:

Anger is a tractor building trees.

Wow, you guys. When I’m a professor of poetry, this will be my first class. You just earned 4 credits towards your degree. You’re wecome, you guys.

Tags: 3rd grade, poetry